Humanity

I was thinking about the finality of it all – how somebody can leave your world in the blink of an eye and be gone forever. It’s too enormous to think about. It’s too hard. And then you’re just supposed to go on, right, like just deal with it, I mean really you’re only supposed to be sad for as long as the flowers last and then, oh, time to go back to telling jokes and reminiscing about the old days. I don’t have any jokes to tell. As a matter in fact I hope I never hear another joke as long as I live. And the old days are just that, they're old days, that are ... gone.

Someone once said that death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. I could tell you who said it, but who the hell cares.

It all just feels so fake, you know? This idea that good things happen to good people. That there's magic in the world, and that the meek and the righteous will inherit it. Too many good people suffer for that to be true. Too many prayers go unanswered. And every day it just gets worse. Every day we ignore how truly broken this world is, and we tell ourselves it's all going to be okay. But it's not going to be okay. And once you know that, there's no going back.

There's no magic in the world...at least today there isn't.

I'm tired of missing people. People that will never be back in my life anymore. It's so tiring. I know you're gone. And you're not coming back. But I was thinking maybe I could just see you again, or hear you assuring me that it's gonna be alright. I keep telling myself I need "me" time, and I'm starting to drift from the people around me, maybe one day, I might just lose it all. Recently, I've been getting snappy. They don't deserve to be snapped at.

Some people deal with death differently, and some, don't at all.